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So, you are ready to pop the question and is looking for an engagement ring. There must be many questions going through your mind right now. How much should you spend on an engagement ring? how do you make sure you are buying the right engagement ring? Also, how can you save money on your engagement ring because it’s not exactly cheap?
The Two Month Salary Engagement Ring Rule
If you have been doing your research on how much to spend on an engagement ring, you must have come across this “Two Months Salary Engagement Ring” rule.
I was very curious about how this 2 months salary engagement ring rule came about, so I went to ask, yes you guessed it, Google.
Here’s what I’ve found out.
Back in the 1930s when there was depression and sales were bad, De Beers, diamond company, started a brilliant marketing campaign to convince everyone that diamonds were a symbol of true love and lifelong commitment using the famous slogan ” Diamonds are forever”.
At that time, people were told that they should spend one month salary on diamond engagement rings.
By 1980s, this rule changed to “two months salary engagement ring” (haha, I guess inflation is to blame) with this famous advertisement.
I must say that it’s really good marketing because they understand human psychology.
When it comes to love, no one would want to question the price of the ONE ring that is supposed to represent how much you love your partner.
Also, the size of the ring and the number of carats are supposed to matter.
The bigger and the more expensive engagement ring you buy, the deeper your love is for her.
On top of that, you worry that you might be judged if you buy a cheap and small-sized diamond engagement ring.
So, there is no resistance or disagreement when it is said that you should spend 2 months salary on engagement rings,
Kudos to De Beers for a successful marketing campaign.
In fact, it’s so successful that this “2 months engagement ring” rule has become the golden rule that men go by when it comes to deciding how much to spend on an engagement ring.
What is funny is that this “2 Months Engagement Ring” rule is about to become obsolete.
Below is a screenshot of questions that people are asking on Google.
That’s how I got to know about the new rule now.
So, behold the new rule – “Three Months Salary Engagement Ring” rule.
I guess that inflation is really catching up fast.
Now that you know where all these rules came from, how much months of salary are you planning to spend on an engagement ring?
While you think about that, I want to share with you something interesting from my research. (Yes, I am geek)
Diamonds Are NOT Worth As Much As You Think
Bear in mind that this is the average spend.
So, that means there are people who pay less than that for an engagement ring and of course people who pay much more for an engagement ring.
First of all, I have to admit that I am not a diamond girl (yes, my husband is one lucky guy!)
Diamonds used to be a rare stone, but that is NOT the case any more after more and more diamond mines have been discovered.
But why are diamonds still so expensive?
This is because the diamond cartel, De Beers, is controlling the prices through monopoly.
By acquiring most of the newly discovered diamond mines, they can limit supply and hence maintain the high price.
So, what about diamond itself?
Can it maintain its value over time?
Unfortunately no, unless it’s a very rare diamond which means the supply is indeed limited.
For most diamond engagement rings, they start to depreciate right after you’ve bought it, kind of like cars.
If you ever want to sell it, you won’t be able to get back even half of the price you paid for it because your diamond jeweler generally has a wholesale markup of 100% to 200%.
So, there is not much resale value left.
Now, you might say, “Gladice, I am not going to sell my engagement ring at all, so does it still matter to me?”
Okay, I hear you.
If you are okay with buying overvalued diamond rings, that’s perfectly fine.
The decision is yours.
For my husband and me, we had a very open and constructive discussion about engagement ring.
We both felt that it’s just a ring and there are many other things that we value more.
For example, we would rather spend the money on our honeymoon trip than on an overpriced engagement ring that I seldom wear.
How To Have An Open Discussion With Your Girlfriend
Should you have an open discussion with your girlfriend about engagement ring before proposing?
Isn’t wedding proposal supposed to be a surprise just like what we see in the movies?
You might ask, “Gladice, if I talked to my girlfriend about engagement rings, then there would be no surprise at all. “
I understand how you feel because we have all been conditioned to think that way.
But, just because you ask your girlfriend for her opinion on engagement ring before actually proposing DOESN’T mean that she won’t get a surprise wedding proposal.
She still doesn’t know when exactly and how exactly you are going to propose.
However, what she does know is that she will definitely get an engagement ring that she likes.
Okay, here’s another thing you should know about women.
We like it that you want to ask us what we think because it shows that you value our opinions.
Deep inside, what we really don’t want is that you buy an engagement ring that we don’t like.
So, if you decide to talk to your girlfriend about engagement ring, how do you actually start the conversation?
First of all, you need to make sure that you and your girlfriend are both on the same page about taking the relationship to the next level.
That means you’ve already talked about getting married before.
Here’s why.
Because you want to prevent the most dreadable situation where your girlfriend doesn’t feel that you two are not there yet when you ask her to marry you.
Now, if you are ready to have the talk, what exactly do you say to your girlfriend?
Okay, here is something that you can say without making the whole thing awkward:
“Babe, there is something that I want to ask you for your opinion. Do you think you are free to talk tonight at my place?”
After your girlfriend has arrived at your place, here’s how to bring up the topic of engagement ring:
“Babe, you know that we have talked about how we wanted to start a life together. I want you to know that I am serious about what I said before. I’m actually looking for an engagement ring right now, and I really want to get one that you will like. So, can I ask you for your help on this?”
This not only shows that you really care about getting a ring that she likes, but it also shows that you respect your girlfriend’s opinion.
Now, what kind of questions do you need to ask your girlfriend about the engagement ring?
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